My life with grandfather

  • Nura
  • 4 Mins Watch
  • 05 Jun 2022

My grandfather developed dementia later in his life. His health started deteriorating, acting like a child and refusing to do basic tasks. He even refused to eat food that he used to love and stopped being an early riser, sleeping in till 10am. More dangerously, he started falling on numerous occasions, at home and outside. He also started to be forgetful, arguing more and we decided to bring him to the doctors where he was diagnosed with dementia.

We have a domestic helper to help care for him, waking him up, showering him and ensuring he has meals at regular times. For the rest of the day, my grandfather would spend it in front of the TV or have a nap.

Once, he started speaking Japanese to the helper while watching a Japanese show when he hasn’t spoken the language in a long time. Another time, he started mimicking me when I was exercising – he sat in his chair an copied my actions.

Scares at home

He thinks that he is able to shower by himself but he is not able to balance himself, and he will fall a often in the toilet. There has been numerous incidents of him falling down, but he has no awareness that he actually did. We’ve found him on the floor multiple times when we wake up in the morning. Once, he caught his leg on the power cord of a fan and tripped on the moving fan. When he’s in the toilet, he’ll lock the door and we have to break it open when he’s fallen in there.

There’s always that constant worrying that something might happen to my grandfather whenever we hear a loud thump. I will always check in his room to make sure he is ok.

Managing the issues

We got him an elderly chair to restrain him if needed. We learned to also mix his supplements with his favourite drink to get him to ingest it. Dementia patients are very strong willed, you know that they are not able to perform certain tasks but they insist that they are able to. You have to know how to play along with them and empower them in carrying out those tasks instead. Keep an eye on them and assist them, but don’t tell them that they cannot do this and that.

I had to learn how to handle dementia:

  • Try to make their life as enjoyable as possible without compromising their comfort
  • Try to constantly engage with conversation with them so that they will constantly be active in their mind
  • Interact with them through simple activities. Bought different simple games to play and engage with him such as snake and ladders
  • Tap on what their interest is, etc if they like cooking, get them to join in/ observe you in cooking
  • Have to be patient, learn how to interact and take care of them. Have to re-learn their preferences as it might change along with dementia as time passes
  • Read online and observe them to know how to take care of them
  • My friend who works in childcare taught me how to teach a child, and I applied the same concept in taking care of my grandfather, such as repeating certain actions and words and let them know what is right and wrong
  • We are a mirror to our children. The way that we take care of our elderly, our children will be able to see and learn how to properly take care of us next time when we grow old
  • Spend quality time as a family, remind yourself that we shouldn’t take family ties for granted
  • Constant reminders that we are blessed with whatever we have, which some people are lacking
  • Film/Record down the interactions that you have together, so that you will be able to look back and reminisce the wonderful times together when your loved ones pass on in the future

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