I am caring for my employer a 77year old man. I call my care recipient “Sir”.He sustained a spinal cord injury in 2002. I started work in 2013. Sir cannot maintain balance when standing and his hands were weak. He could not balance and stand by himself. He needed help to use a walking frame to stand, walk a few steps and transfer to the wheelchair. As his hands were weak, he needed assistance in feeding, bathing, passing urine and moving his bowels. I need to pack his medication and exercise for him.
Right: With her employer Left: Nan was the second runner up at the Employer and Employee Award 2020 given by the Association of Employment Agencies Singapore (AEAS).
Initially I could not speak English well and communication was difficult. We could not understand each other. I was afraid I cannot do all the tasks of a caregiver. I told myself that I must be very careful in case he falls.
There were many misunderstandings at first and I received scoldings for doing things wrongly. I was very sad. Later I realised that the scolding taught me to speak English better. I learnt how to clean, and do things like brushing teeth the proper way. Our relationship became better when I understood what he wanted and did things his way. He is very fussy. My Sir and Mam treat me like one of the family. I have plenty to eat and, in the afternoon, when my Sir rests, I can rest also. They are very caring, I learnt how to use the handphone and I can video call my mum and family.
My daily routine changed in April 2022 when my Sir had a stroke. It is now very difficult to look after him as he cannot stand and walk, and cannot move his limbs much. He cannot use his right hand to drive his motorised wheelchair or work on his handphone. Every morning, I need to feed him his breakfast. As my sir is very heavy and cannot stand my mam and I will use a hoist to transfer him from the bed to the commode chair for a shower in the bathroom. After the shower, we will transfer him to a wheelchair and I will push him to the supermarket or hawker’s centre to buy lunch or groceries. I will feed him lunch and after lunch he will rest till dinner. After dinner, I serve him the night medicine, brush his teeth, clean him and put him to sleep.
TThe main challenge as a caregiver is the fear of not being able to look after my Sir safely. Now he is very helpless and very heavy. Besides, he is very miserable and demanding. I am upset that he is in this state and have to try to cope with his calling and shouting.
My Mam understands my struggles and helps me to care for Sir and do the housework as well. I am able to sleep at night as my Mam is on duty at night. I am happy even though I have to work hard and cope with my Sir’s emotions. I have learnt new lessons: to observe rules when taking care of Sir e.g. Sitting up when drinking and eating, feeding small amounts of food, washing hands before and after cleaning him, techniques of lifting and transferring.